How could I, a modern woman, come to the conclusion that feminism was not a fulfilling ideology? I know… the audacity of me.
Briefly, upon entering my 30s I realized TWO crucial things.
First, feminism is built upon a Marxist ideology of oppressor/oppressed. For those not familiar with Marxism, don’t fret. The basic premise is that within all relationships, there will always be one that is the oppressor and one that is oppressed. In the case of feminist ideology, the premise is simply that men are always the oppressor and women are always the oppressed.
While there may be obvious physical, psychological, and biological differences that preclude or minimize the role of men and/or women from some activities (many of which are from their own choosing), we cannot live under the framework that men have always oppressed us and kept us OUT of things… it is wholly untrue.
The truth, instead, is that men and women have faced terrible times and had to work TOGETHER to get through challenges. This is the truth and beauty that I feel has been lost in our current world as feminism has pitted men and women AGAINST each other as competitors.
The second big reason why I decided to leave feminism was how much it pushed the career-heavy narrative on women. While it claimed to offer choice to girls, it has done a terrible job of maintaining motherhood as a viable option for any intelligent, driven, and modern woman. As I entered my 30s, I saw that many women who were empowered to take on careers early in life either 1) ended up scrambling to put together a family life and have children before they no longer could or 2) pulling back on career to spend more time focusing on motherhood. Both of these decisions by free women around me made me realize the bind that we put girls into when we place career as the most important path for any girl that wants “success”. In essence, feminism may have (perhaps inadvertently) actually more narrowly defined success to mean financial gain over the balance so many women seek.
The biggest barrier to the life of balance that I think women truly seek is that once they take on the ideological framework of feminism, they begin to see men as competitors and adversaries. That does not bode well for either seeking partnership nor being the partner men will be seeking for marriage and eventually children.
Once I saw the disservice feminism was doing to womanhood, I chose to leave it in the past.